Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Message For The GOP: Dog Shows Republicans How To Handle Democats

March 29, 2013

Okay, maybe I’m reading too much politics into everything. But I sure wish Republicans would take after this pooch in their ability to deal with their adversaries:

Yep.  Definitely reading too much politics into everything.

ObamaCare Summed Up By Illinois Doctor In One Incredibly Long And Even More Incredibly DAMNING Sentence

September 17, 2012

 Dr. Barbara Bellar:

Obama, The Empty Chair And Clint Eastwood. In Story And Pictures.

September 3, 2012

The sad reality on Labor Day:

It’s National Empty Chair Day, and here’s my contribution to this great American holiday inspired by the Barack Obama presidency.

A story for background:

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.

Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President.

The old rancher said, ‘Well, ya know, Obama is a ‘post turtle’.’

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a ‘post turtle’ was. The old rancher said, ‘When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a ‘post turtle’.’

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor’s face, so he continued to explain.

‘You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a dumb ass put him up there!.’

Now for Obama and the metaphor of the empty chair:

“You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a dumb ass put him up there.”

As Clint Eastwood put it:

“When somebody doesn’t do the job, we got to let them go.”

We got us a Chairman ObaMao for an empty chair, that’s our problem:

It’s time for voters to get pissed off and be like Bobby Knight and just let the damn empty chair go:

There are far too many Americans under this failed presidency who are ending up like this:

No more empty chairs.  Vote Obama out!

This post was inspired by a FreeRepublic forum article.  The pics came from there (with the addition of the post turtle that mysteriously ended up on one chair).  There are quite a few funny takes that are worth seeing.

Update: Ooh, look!  Democrats have their OWN version of “Empty Chair Day!”  Democrats are busing in “Astroturf” Democrats by the thousands to create the bogus illusion that Obama somehow DOESN’T suck.   That’s because in North Carolina, Mitt Romney has an 18-point lead over “the empty chair” on the issue of the economy.

Update, 9/6/12: I received the following comment to another article that made me laugh out loud:

IF anyone is in NC they should get into Bank of America stadium put up an empty chair with an Obama sticker and film the DNC convention of the empty chair talking to the empty chairs.

President “Empty chair” was afraid that there would be way, WAAAAAAY too many empty chairs at Bank of America Stadium.

For the record, the skies are clear in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Obama Energy Solution: We Can Eat America’s Dogs And Then Drive Windmill Cars Powered By Our Flatulence

August 15, 2012

Obama decided to make his attack on Mitt Romney’s wind energy policy personal:

Obama Brings Back Dog-on-Roof Issue When Criticizing Romney
By Fred Lucas
August 14, 2012

(CNSNews.com) – While expressing his support for the wind industry, President Barack Obama took a veiled shot at his Republican opponent Mitt Romney for transporting his dog on the roof of his car almost 30 years ago in 1983, saying, “I know he’s had other things on his car.”

“During a speech a few months ago, Governor Romney even described his energy policy this way, I’m quoting here, ‘You can’t drive a car with a windmill on it.’ That’s what he said about wind power. ‘You can’t drive a car with a windmill on it,’” Obama told an audience in Oskaloosa, Iowa at the Nelson Pioneer Farm & Museum.

Obama went on to make an apparent reference to news stories concerning the widely reported 1983 vacation by the Romney family in which the family’s Irish sitter Seamus was placed in a carrier mounted to the rooftop for a 12-hour trip, with three stops. The Boston Globe first reported the matter in 2007.

“Now I don’t know if he’s actually tried that,” Obama said of Romney attaching a windmill to the car. “I know he’s had other things on his car. But, if he wants to learn something about wind, all he’s got to do is pay attention to what you’ve been doing here in Iowa.”

Obama also said, “The wind industry now supports 7,000 jobs here in Iowa, 75,000 jobs across the country. These jobs aren’t a fad. These are good jobs and they’re a source of pride we need to fight for.”

At a Romney campaign rally in Zanesville, Ohio on March 5, Romney criticized Obama on energy.

“What is his energy policy? It’s apparently to make it hard to get coal out of the ground with more regulations, makes it harder to get the gas out of the ground,” Romney said. “And as a result, while he’s happy with wind and solar – we all like wind and solar – but you can’t drive a car with a windmill on it. My plan is that we’re finally going to get America energy secure by taking advantage of our coal, our oil, our gas, and bringing in that Keystone pipeline from Canada.”

In April, dogs became more of an issue when additional news stories pointed out that in Obama’s autobiography, Dreams of My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance, Obama discloses that he once ate dog meat as a child in Indonesia. Obama even joked about it at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner.

It’s frankly amazing that this cheap-shot artist Chicago thug is actually our president.

What’s good for the dog-eater ought to be good for the guy who once put his doggy carrier on the roof of his car, however.

You want to bring up Romney’s dog (who LIVED, by the way) in your attack on his energy policy?

Well, America, EAT your damn dog like Barry Hussein did and stick a propeller out of your butt to take advantage of your “natural gas.”

For the record, my own dog has repeatedly testified that she would rather be on Mitt Romney’s roof than digesting inside Barack Obama’s gut.  My dog also says that she would cause as much gastrointestinal distress to our first dog-eating president in history if he ate her – such that he’d get arrested for uncontrollable speeding in his windmill fartmobile.  And my dog says to vote for the guy who DIDN’T eat a dog.

And for the record, the green energy boondoggle that Obama keeps demanding for America hasn’t worked particularly well for Spain - a country that now “enjoys” 25% unemployment with young adults “enjoying” 53% unemployment.  The thing is, of course, that stupid rots the brain and goes into the bones.  And so this election is the harbinger for whether America wants to “enjoy” a Spain-style economy – and remember, Spain was once the mightiest nation on the planet, too – or whether we want to actually quit digging our hole deeper and start climbing out of it with Mitt Romney.

One way or another, if Obama gets re-elected, we’ll be doing something crazy to live in a world where Obama criminalized oil.  Will it be Obama’s windmill fartmobile or a Fred Flintstone car, I don’t know.  But it won’t be much longer before whatever it is – joke though it may be – won’t be funny.

Nancy Pelosi has some exciting models out.

Six Cartoons To Sum Up Obamanomics

August 2, 2012

Oops.  I guess that last one wasn’t really a “cartoon,” was it?

Obama Rips Off Jeff Foxworthy For His I Believe Ad Campaign

July 27, 2012

Obama has a new campaign called “I believe.”

Where have I heard that line before?

Obama’s got his own “I believe” routine.  But it’s not nearly as funny:

Looking for a little bit of that Olympics magic, President Barack Obama’s reelection campaign will run an ad highlighting his middle class-focused economic pitch during the opening ceremonies of the 2012 Summer Games in London.

“We’re a nation of workers and doers and dreamers. We work hard for what we get. And all we ask for is that our hard work pays off,” Obama says in the 33-second commercial.

“I believe that the way you grow the economy is from the middle, out. I believe in fighting for the middle class, ’cause if they’re prospering, all of us will prosper. That’s the idea of America, and that’s why America is the greatest nation on Earth!”

Jeff Foxworthy: “I believe … that the only thing worse than having diarrhea is trying to have it quietly in a public place.”

The fact that Jeff Foxworthy is talking about nasty turds is only a coincidence and most surely has nothing to do with the turd a.k.a. Barack Obama.

Let me try this “I believe” stuff:

I believe that while you can say ‘The only thing better than pizza is MORE pizza,’ you can’t say that about Obama’s socialism.”

I believe that presidents who spend their entire four years in office wildly failing shouldn’t be spending their entire campaign warchest trying to insinuate that your opponent is less than perfect.”

Okay, okay, I agree: Jeff Foxworthy is better about making statements about Obama trying to be quiet in public places.

The fact of the matter is that Obama is “not paying off” very well for most Americans.  And I believe that we need four more years of Obama the way we need more taxes, more failed business, more people on foodstamps and more people filing for disability because Obama has crippled them economically.

Too Damned Funny Alert: DOT Road Signs Hacked To Read ‘Impeach Obama’

July 7, 2012

You’re driving on the freeway, being alert to all the events, conditions and of course road signs.

And as a good driver you follow your instructions – especially if said instructions are delivered via bright, flashing lights:

DOT Construction Signs Hacked To Read ‘Impeach Obama’
By Todd Walker
Channel 2 News
3:50 p.m. AKDT, July 5, 2012

ANCHORAGE, Alaska—
Several electronic road construction signs around Anchorage were hacked late Wednesday night or early Thursday morning, according to the state Department of Transportation.

Signs that normally display closure and detour information, like the one on Minnesota Drive near 100th Avenue, were changed to read “Impeach Obama.” That particular sign wasn’t fixed until sometime between 6 a.m. and 8 a.m. Thursday.

It happened because DOT says it doesn’t lock the boxes on the signs that hold the message control pad.

Construction managers say sign-hacking has never happened before, so they never thought to lock the boxes.

DOT says that changed this morning, and now all of them will be locked.

“I’m sure somebody thought it was a pretty funny joke but we try to convey a lot of important information with these signs,” said Tim Croghan, a regional construction engineer for DOT.

Tamara Douglas snapped a picture of the sign message around 6 a.m. Thursday.

“(‘Impeach Obama’) was the only thing that was on the sign,” Douglas said. “It was coming in and out and just said that over and over again.”

DOT says anyone caught tampering with construction signs could face charges of criminal mischief, which is a Class A misdemeanor.

Never piss off smart people, I always say.

It’s against the law to tamper with construction signs.  But of course it’s against the law to disregard a sign in a construction zone, too.

I say we follow the second law and impeach Obama.

Impeaching Obama is the ONLY way to drive safely.

Obama Administration Claims Blue Collar Workers And Business Leaders Alike Are Disqualified To Be President

May 25, 2012

“Your job as President is to promote the common good — that doesn’t mean the private equity guys are bad guys. They’re not. But that no more qualifies you to be President than being a plumber,” Mr. Biden joked to laughter. “And by the way, there are a lot of awful smart plumbers.” — Joe Biden

A lot of “smart plumbers” who aren’t really qualified to be president, of course.

Do you know what clearly DOES qualify you to be president?

Being a Marxist community agitator and then going into the State Senate where you continually vote “present.”  Oh, and then spending 144 days as a U.S. Senator before breaking your nationally-televised promise NOT to run for president:

MR. RUSSERT: Well, nine months ago, you were on this program and I asked you about running for president. And let’s watch and come back and talk about it.

(Videotape, January 22, 2006):

MR. RUSSERT: When we talked back in November of ‘04, after your election, I said, “There’s been enormous speculation about your political future. Will you serve your full six-year term as a United States senator from Illinois?” Obama: “Absolutely.”

SEN. OBAMA: I will serve out my full six-year term. You know, Tim, if you get asked enough, sooner or later you get weary and you start looking for new ways of saying things, but my thinking has not changed.

MR. RUSSERT: But, but—so you will not run for president or vice president in 2008?

SEN. OBAMA: I will not.

(End videotape)

Only documented-lying Marxists need apply for the job of president, say Democrats.

At the very least we’re talking about an elitist political class of liberal bureaucrats who believe that only career bureaucrats have any business ruling and reigning from high office.

Being somebody who knows how the economy works inside and out by buying and developing hundreds of businesses, being somebody who has made payrolls, being somebody who has created budgets and business plans and product and growth strategies???  Nope.  A lifetime of that sort of experience isn’t worth a single hour of being a radical Marxist community organizer.

What’s funny is that the same damn Joe Biden who says that plumbers and private equity firm CEOs aren’t qualified to be president also pretty damn clearly stated that the guy who is now president isn’t qualified to be president.

The really good thing about being a Democrat president?

Once you get out of office you can hang with major porn starlets and find yourself with lots more women wearing blue dresses:

Slick Willie invited them over:

In a giggly interview with TMZ, the adult films stars photographed with Bill Clinton at a fundraising gala in Monaco on Wednesday explained how they met the former president.

“He kind of was looking over at us every once in awhile. And we’re huge, psycho fans of Bill. We just think he’s really cute,” porn star Brooklyn Lee said. “So we end up wandering by. And we were going to approach him to take a picture and his Secret Service sort of brushed us away. And as we were walking away, Bill actually had the Secret Service guy call us back, to come hang out.”

Of course, in Bill Clinton’s defense: absolutely NOBODY thinks that Bill Clinton is anything other than fully qualified to hang out with porn stars.  And in fact FAR more qualified than any mere plumber or business CEO.

And, of course, in spite of Bill Clinton’s lengthy personal history of sexual shennanigans, he still knows full well that the amateur, incompetent fool who is now disgracing the White House is most definitely NOT qualified to be president.

Mind you, if the American people have enough of an instinct of self-preservation left in them to vote this turd out of office, we’ll probably be seeing “the first gay president” posing with quite a few porn stars of his own:

Space Aliens Leaving Different Crop Circles In California Desert

February 26, 2012

When we went to the moon in 1971, our astronauts had a moon buggy (aka the lunar rover) to cruise around in:

You would expect a little more advancement in the “earth buggy” of a space alien, wouldn’t you?

Maybe theirs would look like… well, something like this:

And here’s the thing most of you fellers won’t believe: I’ve seen ‘em.  Strange, helmeted beings driving around on their versions of a moon buggy.  Probably out collecting rock samples or something like that.

Now, the aliens I’ve seen have all been in California, out in the desert.  And pretty much everything is truly different in these parts.

So while the rest of the world have their crop circles -

- the California desert has its very own brand of them:

Just like with all the other crop circles, no earthling really knows what fabulous message the aliens are trying to communicate.

All I can tell you is that the California desert crop circle looks like fun to make.

Ted Nugent Reflects On Dumb Deer And Dumber Democrats

November 29, 2011

How Deer Think

 
Great Quote!
Deer Hunting Story…even if you don’t care about hunting…Gotta Love Ted!Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan , was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, an animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, ‘What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, ‘Are you my friend?’ or is it ‘Are you the one who killed my brother?

Nugent replied, ‘Deer aren’t capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, what am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the Democrats in Congress.’

The interview ended.


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