’10 Tips Obama Can Take From Tiger.’ Your Joke Here…

Apparently the magic fairy dust that always seemed to follow Barry Hussein on the campaign trail has rubbed off.

I mean what else can one say about Obama’s determination to be on every single cover of every single magazine biting him right in his private parts but: Hahahahahaha.  BWAH HAH HAH HAH!!!

Let’s see.  What tips can Obama take from Tiger?  My own list, in no particular order:

10. Don’t leave your gold clubs laying around for your wife to grab as she chases you down the driveway.

9. You should probably keep your eyes on the road rather than constantly looking back at your wife chasing you down the driveway.

8. Maybe it isn’t such a good idea to give your wife golf lessons and teach her how to swing a club, after all.

7. Petite little blond women might be a lot tougher than they look.  Maybe you should think about that while you’re attacking Fox News.

6. You should probably take some boxing lessons or something just in case your wife finds out about your adulteries.

6. Bill Clinton can tell you all about the danger of stained dresses.   I can tell you all about the danger of tainted voice mails.

5. It might be a good idea to clear the White House driveway of any obstructions – you know, things like trees and fire hydrants – that could interfere with your getaway from your wife.

4. Your chickens coming home to roost may take the form of your wife’s nails roosting right across your face.

3. $300 million dollar sex can leave you strangely unfulfilled.

2. If your wife finds out about your affairs and tells you she wants to go “clubbing,” get out of Dodge FAST.

1. You might want to quit doing to the economy what I’ve been doing to Jaimee Grubbs, Rachel Uchitel, Kalika Moquin, etc. etc.  Payback is hell on wheels.

In addition to golf pointers, Tiger could have told Obama how to earn his own money rather than taxing it from everybody else.  But in any event, they’re both pissing fortunes away at rather incredible rates.

I think the timing of this magazine cover is God’s way of telling you something, Barry.

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9 Responses to “’10 Tips Obama Can Take From Tiger.’ Your Joke Here…”

  1. hl Says:

    You are funny.

    I’m reading Sarah Palin’s ‘Going Rogue’ new book. It is a refreshing respite from all the insanity Obama hurls at us on a daily basis.
    It’s GREAT to read about a true AMERICAN PATRIOT who actually loves America and it’s people and GOVERNED with a servants heart by the laws and ideals that made this country great. What a concept!

  2. Michael Eden Says:

    I make myself laugh all the time.

    I tried to find anyplace that had focused on the “10 tips Tiger could give to Obama” on the web, and couldn’t find any. I figured somebody needed to give it a shot.

    Sarah Palin has impressed me from the start. She didn’t get everything handed to her, like Obama did. The elitists tell us “Obama went to Harvard,” as proof of his intelligence and his “experience.” But we still don’t know who paid for Obama to go to Harvard. Nobody paid for Sarah Palin to go to her college but Sarah Palin.

    Palin strikes me as a person of rare common sense. She has a way of getting right to the heart of an issue. That “death panel” paragraph was brilliant – and redefined the debate.

    More recently, Sarah Palin was asked about the birth certificate controversy. A lot of “conservatives” and “Republicans” (in this case I can’t exclude myself) have shied away from it, not wanting to appear like whacko conspiracy theorists. Palin’s answer was that when her son Trig was born, liberals demanded to see his birth certificate to prove that she was the mother. And Sarah Palin said, “If my Down Syndrome son Trig should produce his birth certificate, I don’t see why the President of the United States shouldn’t have to produce his.” Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Democrats.

    I don’t know for certain whether I’ll support Sarah if she runs for President, simply because I don’t know who else will be running. But I have a great deal of admiration and regard for that fearless woman.

  3. bobsmith Says:

    Palin is a retard.

    What does that have to do with obama and woods ?

  4. Michael Eden Says:

    If you quadrupled your IQ, you’d still be dumb compared to Sarah Palin.

    She’s certainly accomplished more than you ever will in your life.

    Other than the fact that Sarah Palin is a rather refreshing change compared to the miserable aforementioned Obama and Woods, fortunately she has nothing to do with either of them.

  5. hl Says:

    Bob Smith,
    Sarah Palin thankfullly has nothing to do with Obama or Woods. I was communicating something to my friend, Michael.
    Your demeaning comment about Palin shows your utter ignorance as to her remarkable achievements in two and one half years as Alaska’s governer, not to mention all the other good and worthy works she has accomplished.
    Perhaps if you educate yourself by reading her book and getting the facts about her record, instead of forming your opinions from media sound bites, you might be able to rid yourself of your ignorance.
    Keep reading Michael’s blog, you really need to be better educated and informed.

  6. Michael Eden Says:

    And btw, HL, Sarah hit another one out of the park.

    Al Gore condescendingly replied to Palin’s Climate Gate op-ed by saying that there was no debate, that carbon caused warming, that it was a law of physics, and that climate change was like gravity.

    Sarah Palin then said Gore might be right, and climate change was like gravity. But that climate change, like gravity, had been around long before man, and would be around long after.

    It IS a lot more uplifting to talk about Sarah Palin than Tiger Woods (constantly sleeping with women not his wife) and Barack Obama (constantly blaming other people for his failures).

  7. hl Says:

    She sure did Michael. She is consistently hitting back and hitting them out of the park. I think that is exactly what needs to happen. I hope others follow her lead.
    In her book her dad stated after she stepped down as governor for the good of Alaskans, ‘Sarah’s not retreating, she’s reloading.’

  8. Michael Eden Says:

    I think it is quite clear that Sarah Palin did what was best for herself and her family, and what was best for her state.

    How many was it, 17 bogus ethics charges that were filed against her (and she won on every single one)?

    The cost to Sarah Palin personally was in the millions. She was winning all the lawsuits, but due to the fact that Alaskan politicians are not protected from such lawsuits, she had to pay the lawyer bills out of her own pocket. She was $1 million in debt, due to no fault of her own, simply because liberals are malicious and dishonest people who gamed the system to personally attack her over and over and over again, with no end in sight.

    In addition to that, her staff was consumed with dealing with this crap, rather than being allowed to run the state. And the left in Alaska was using Sarah Palin as a lightening rod to undermine legitimate state business.

    She did what was best. It was a bold move, from a bold woman.

  9. aston Says:

    i agree =]

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