Posts Tagged ‘golf club’

’10 Tips Obama Can Take From Tiger.’ Your Joke Here…

December 4, 2009

Apparently the magic fairy dust that always seemed to follow Barry Hussein on the campaign trail has rubbed off.

I mean what else can one say about Obama’s determination to be on every single cover of every single magazine biting him right in his private parts but: Hahahahahaha.  BWAH HAH HAH HAH!!!

Let’s see.  What tips can Obama take from Tiger?  My own list, in no particular order:

10. Don’t leave your gold clubs laying around for your wife to grab as she chases you down the driveway.

9. You should probably keep your eyes on the road rather than constantly looking back at your wife chasing you down the driveway.

8. Maybe it isn’t such a good idea to give your wife golf lessons and teach her how to swing a club, after all.

7. Petite little blond women might be a lot tougher than they look.  Maybe you should think about that while you’re attacking Fox News.

6. You should probably take some boxing lessons or something just in case your wife finds out about your adulteries.

6. Bill Clinton can tell you all about the danger of stained dresses.   I can tell you all about the danger of tainted voice mails.

5. It might be a good idea to clear the White House driveway of any obstructions – you know, things like trees and fire hydrants – that could interfere with your getaway from your wife.

4. Your chickens coming home to roost may take the form of your wife’s nails roosting right across your face.

3. $300 million dollar sex can leave you strangely unfulfilled.

2. If your wife finds out about your affairs and tells you she wants to go “clubbing,” get out of Dodge FAST.

1. You might want to quit doing to the economy what I’ve been doing to Jaimee Grubbs, Rachel Uchitel, Kalika Moquin, etc. etc.  Payback is hell on wheels.

In addition to golf pointers, Tiger could have told Obama how to earn his own money rather than taxing it from everybody else.  But in any event, they’re both pissing fortunes away at rather incredible rates.

I think the timing of this magazine cover is God’s way of telling you something, Barry.