Posts Tagged ‘submit’

The Last Father’s Day? An End-Times Father’s Day Message

June 19, 2015

2 Timothy chapter 3 warns us of the final generation that is coming in the last days: “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.  People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God–having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.”  St. Paul prophetically foretold  what the last generation would look like as they act out their contempt for Jesus Christ.  The question that all the generations before us asked as they read this passage was: “What could create such a depraved generation?  And why will it be so different from all the generations that came before?”

If you are 45 years old, you were alive to see what no one has ever seen in all of history before you: you were alive to witness the enactment of no-fault divorce laws that weakened and undermined the bond of marriage.  Only a couple years after that, you were alive to see the legalization of infanticide otherwise known as abortion.  And of course today we’re all witnessing this satanic trifecta being completed as homosexual marriage perverts the very sanctity of marriage itself.

There’s an ancient Chinese curse that says, “May you live in interesting times.”  Because there isn’t much of a show for the neighbors when a family is contented and happy and peaceful the way there is when there is screaming and violence and the police come.  We are living out the curse of “interesting times” today as our entire society dissolves into chaos and depravity.  We watch these interesting times on our television screens as cities burn down on a regular basis as the children of broken families grow up to riot and loot and burn and murder.  And that’s not just going on in Detroit or Chicago or Cleveland or Baltimore or Ferguson; our very own city is on the list as being one of the 100 most violent cities in America.  2 Timothy 3 is literally HERE in these evil last days.

And I submit to you that much of that chaos and depravity and deterioration of society can be traced to the destruction of fatherhood by a demonic culture that is rapidly preparing to worship the beast of Revelation and take his mark on their right hands, or on their foreheads.

How does God relate to us?  Do we pray, “Our Mother which art in heaven…”  No.  God relates to us as our FATHER.

Now, every good thing that is in women and in mothers comes from God; for how did God create us?  Genesis 1:27 says it very clearly: “So God created human beings in His own image. In the image of God He created them; male and female He created them.”  Every good thing that is feminine comes from God, just as every good thing that is masculine comes from the same God who created us all in His image.  But I believe that while Satan has a hatred of wives and mothers, he has a special hatred for husbands and fathers and for fatherhood, because God reveals Himself as Father and because Satan knows that if he can dissolve the bond between a child and a father, that he can dissolve the bond between a Father God and a generation that doesn’t even know what a father is.

There are so many among us today who have profound difficulty relating to Father God because they look at their own lives and realize, “My father abandoned me.  My father was never there for me.  My father beat us.  My father was a mean drunk.  My father hurt me.  And now I’m supposed to find comfort and love and fulfillment in a Father?”  In these last days we are seeing as never before the demonic arsenal arrayed against men, against husbands, against fathers.

Fatherhood is under demonic attack and as a result of that attack families have collapsed into dysfunction, ignorance, poverty, and violence; but Christian families can be salt and light to the world as Christian husbands model Christ and as Christian wives submit to his leadership and support him.

The decline in marriage during my lifetime due to the war on marriage and abortion has been stunning.  The rate of marriage has dropped SIXTY PERCENT in the time since I was a six year old boy in 1970Children living with their mother only has increased by over 129 percent.  And the polls prove that acceptance of out-of-wedlock births has skyrocketed even as the rate of marriage has plunged: from 41% in 2002 – which was awful enough – to an overwhelming majority of 61% acceptance of out-of-wedlock births today.  Just in my lifetime.  What effect has had on our society?  On our kids?

As terrible a blow to marriage as no-fault divorce was, I believe that abortion has been far, far deadlier to marriage and to the families that marriages bind together.  To give you an idea of how murderous the abortion industry has been, allow me to provide a comparison: What was the worst, the bloodiest, the deadliest war in all of human history?  World War II.  How many died?  We have an official toll: across the world, on all sides, civilian and military combined, 56,125,262 human beings died during World War II.   Get ready for a hard punch in the gut: As of January 2014 the number of abortions since Roe v. Wade in 1973 totaled 56,662,169.  In America’s war against its own children we have now exceeded the death toll of the deadliest and most vicious war in the history of the human race.  We have literally murdered ten times more of our own babies than Hitler murdered Jews in the Holocaust.  Or consider the Vietnam War with its 58,000 U.S. servicemen killed in action.  A million is a thousand thousand: for every U.S. soldier who was killed during the Vietnam War, we have now murdered more than one thousand of our own children!  I think of Psalm 139:13: “For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb.”  I think of Jeremiah 1:5 and the God who declared, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…”

Science is actually clear on what abortion kills: we have a rigorous system of taxonomy that classifies every single living thing.  And from the very moment of conception when a man and a woman first produce a child, that zygote in the womb is classified aas follows: Kingdom-Animal, Phylum-chordata, Class-Mammalia, Order-Primate, Family-Hominid, Genus-Homo and Species-Sapiens.  It is classified as homo-sapiens, just as you and I are classified as homo-sapiens.  Logic and philosphy are just as clear: that tiny little baby girl in the womb is “human” by virtue of her parents, she is a “being” vy virtue of the fact that she exists: she is a human being.  The Word of God, religion, science, philosophy and logic all intersect here to uphold the sanctity of innocent human life in the womb.  But in these last days we are no longer a society capable of caring about such things.  Abortion is a grave moral evil; it is the genocide of the very most innocent of human life in the very place where it ought to be the very safest: in mommy’s womb.

But stop and think about what abortion has done; it didn’t just kill a baby; it kills fatherhood itself.  That is because abortion is based on the premise that at the moment of conception that is NOT a baby in the womb; that is NOT a precious human being.  It’s just a thing inside a woman’s body and so it’s her property and so she can kill it.  At the moment of conception, does a father really father a child?  No!  Not if abortion is legitimate!!!  He has merely contributed to an inanimate, non-sentient lump of goop and nothing more.  And what is his “fatherhood” worth when what he conceived is a worthless thing that can be killed at a woman’s whim?  Not much.

In Satan’s hatred for God and contempt for Fatherhood, fathers are NOT fathers and have NO right to their children.  Given that fatherhood has been trivialized to nothing, given that fathers are now denied the most basic right to even the very life of their own children, given the destruction of what was once the sacred bond of marriage, the glue that kept fathers cemented to their families has been dissolved.  And this has resulted is the terrible times foretold by 2 Timothy chapter 3.

Fatherhood is under demonic attack.  Satan hates fathers because Satan hates the God who has revealed Himself as a Father.  And it is THIS generation that has seen Satan descend in all-out war against fathers and against fatherhood.

And as a result of that demonic attack families have collapsed into poverty, drug addiction, ignorance, suicide and violence.  Girls have lost the love and approval of their fathers; boys don’t even have a clue what it means to be a man.  And what is the cost to children and to society?  Some statistics:

Poverty:  Children living in female-headed families with no father present had a poverty rate of 47.6 percent, over 4 times the rate in married-couple families.  Drug addiction: The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services states, “Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse.”  Again: according to US Department of Justice statistics, 70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average.  Ignorance: 71% of high school dropouts are fatherless; fatherless children have more trouble academically, scoring poorly on tests of reading, mathematics, and thinking skills; children from father-absent homes are more likely to be truant from school, more likely to be excluded from school, more likely to leave school at age 16, and less likely to attain academic and professional qualifications in adulthood.   Dropouts: According to the National Principals Association Report, 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average.   Behavior disorders: According to the Center for Disease Control, 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.  Runaway children:  90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.  Teen pregnancy: Girls whose fathers left when they were young  were seven to eight times more at risk of becoming pregnant than adolescent than girls living with their fathers.  A father’s departure between ages 6 to13 suggested a two to three times greater risk of becoming pregnant.   Suicides: According to the US Dept. Of Health, 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes– 5 times the average.  Crime and violence: Over the past thirty years, the rise in violent crime parallels the rise in families abandoned by fathers.  Again: High-crime neighborhoods are characterized by high concentrations of families abandoned by fathers.  Again: The rate of violent teenage crime corresponds with the number of families abandoned by fathers.  How about this one: 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.   Rapists: 80% of rapists come from fatherless homes –14 times the average.

But mark this,” St. Paul soberly warned in 2 Timothy 3, There will be terrible times in the last days.”  And here they are as they have never been in the whole history of the world.  When I was a child, the world wasn’t like this.  Ignorance has begotten more ignorance and immorality has begotten more immorality as we grow more and more evil at a faster and faster rate.

Satan knew exactly what he was doing when he attacked the sanctity of marriage, because marriage is the bond that holds families together and makes them strong.  Satan knew exactly what he was doing when he attacked fathers and undermined fatherhood.  Because if dad is out of the picture that family is vulnerable.   And this nation and millions of families bear the scars of the devil’s work.

Our toxic culture is not paying attention to men anymore.  It refuses to honor men, respect them, submit to their authority.  It’s become a cultural norm to disregard men, husbands, fathers.  Is this working for the world?  Is anyone willing to try the way God ordained His creation to function?

It shouldn’t be like this for Christians.  After listing a host of sins that were similar to the kind of depravity we’re seeing all around us today, St. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:11, “And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”  Or as Hebrews 6:9 says, “…we are convinced of better things in your case…”  We don’t have to be like the world; we should NOT be like the world.

There is an ad campaign for adoption that goes, “You don’t have to be perfect to be a perfect parent.”  And of course NONE of us is perfect, are we?  But you know what?  I think that’s only HALF right: because I declare that if you are a parent looking down at your baby and you don’t WANT to be perfect for your child, there’s something wrong.  And if you don’t want to be a perfect wife or a perfect husband for your spouse, there is something wrong.  If you’re a true Christian you should ALL want to be perfect as you put on Christ.  Let me declare that we Christians are the only ones in the world with the perfect role model for perfection: because we alone uniquely have Jesus.  We alone uniquely have the Word of God that is God’s instruction manual for living a good and godly life.

There are a lot of people who misunderstand the Bible and think God is some giant misogynist who hates and oppresses women.  But let’s look at a man’s and a husband’s and a father’s role: who did God create and ordain and equip to protect the other?  A man lays his life down for his wife and family.  Ephesians 5:25 declares, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”  Husbands are to be willing to literally give up their lives to protect their wives and kids.  Just as Christ laid down His life for His Bride, the Church.  That’s a charge to MEN, not to women.  The Bible charges men to sacrificially lay down their very lives; and that’s why it charges women in the same passage of Ephesians 5 to submit to the headship of the men who are charged to sacrifice everything for their wives – just as these same wives submit to the LORD who laid down His life for them.  That’s why Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.”

I look in the Bible in vain for the concept of women as combat warriors in place of men.  The ONLY two examples of women involved in war in all of Scripture is the story in Judges 4 and 5 of the prophetess and judge Deborah and a woman named Jael.  Deborah as a prophet called out a man named Barak to rise up against the Cannanites.   And Jael tricked the Caananite general Sisera who fled from that defeat by killing him with a tent peg and hammer after she lured him under her rug.  Neither of these women were called to take on a man in any kind of direct, face-to-face fighting.

There are a number of ways a woman can be a powerful Christian warrior: women are powerful prayer warriors whose prayers are as powerful as ANY man’s.  But being a screaming blood-coated soldier on a battlefield is NOT ONE OF THEM.  God did not call upon women to be our fighting machines.  God wanted men to shelter women from violence.  When you confuse the most basic differences between men and women, when you live in a culture that is so sick and so depraved and so blind that it says that women should play the role of men by fighting our wars while men should play the role of women in homosexual bedrooms, when any society flagrantly disregards the proper roles that God ordained for men and women, it is going to meet with disaster and ultimately destruction.

God intended woman to bring out the very best in man: the desire to rise up for the sake of woman and do whatever it takes to protect her, to provide for her, to give her a place of safety and security, to love her and give himself for her the way Christ loved His Church and gave up everything for His Bride and prepares a place for Her.

Instead, Fathers have been conditioned by a sick society to just walk away from their marriages, walk away from their children.  Especially the most helpless of all children living in the wombs of their mothers.  And pity the father who tries to stand up for the life of his child against all the unholy power of a demonic human government hell-bent on defending a woman’s right to kill that child.  But let me tell you something: a godly man will walk away from his wife and children over his own dead body.  Because a godly human father models a heavenly Father who declared according to Deuteronomy 31:6: “I will never leave you or forsake you.”

A husband and a father have the highest calling there can ever be: to lay down his life to protect his wife and family and to daily lead them with that same spirit of sacrificial leadership.  That is not a requirement for a wife and mother, only a husband and father.  And women are commanded by God to honor and respect their men for that and submit to their leadership.  And one of the primary reasons that we are watching our society spiral out of control is our sick and depraved culture’s defiance to obey God displayed by violating God’s created order and neutering men and aborting fatherhood.

But there’s another reason that God ordained that husbands ought to lead and wives ought to submit to that leadership.  We see this very clearly taught in 1 Timothy 2:13-14, which says, “For Adam was formed first, then Eve.   And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.”  God had a purpose in creating man first before woman, and when women take certain forms of leadership over men they are violating and usurping that order.  God created man first to lead.  And when women OR men fail to confine themselves to their created function, but instead undermine or abandon divinely intended roles, spiritual vulnerability into deception and sin naturally follows.  In other words, this passage does not necessarily teach that women are naturally and always more gullible and naïve than are men; I know very shrewd women and I know men you could sell the Golden Gate Bridge to.  What God’s Word is saying is that Eve undermined and usurped the headship of her husband and it was because she was out of God’s intended role that she was more open to being deceived.  Is it true that women tend to be more nurturing, more empathetic, more sensitive, more emotional, and more relationship-oriented than men?   I believe that’s true.  Is it true that men overwhelmingly use the left hemisphere of the brain – which is the seat of logical thinkingsignificantly more than women?  That’s actually a scientific fact.  Women use their entire brain to arrive at decisions; men zero in on the logical/analytic side.  We could go around arguing all day which way is best.  But what St. Paul is saying goes beyond logic or feelings or the different ways men’s and women’s brains function.  St. Pauls’ ultimate point was simply this: When Satan came to Eve, she should have said, “Let me talk to my husband about this.”  But she made the decision herself to eat the fruit, made herself the de facto leader, and as a result was not in a place of godly or wise decision-making.  She was deceived because she left God’s sphere of blessing.

Sportscasters ironically refer to a horrible lack of communication between two teammates that results in an error with the other team scoring as “a husband-and-wife play.”  We saw the ultimate example of that error and score for the devil when Eve usurped Adam’s role as head and followed Satan’s deception without her husband’s participation and left him out of the most important decision in the entire history of the human race.

Don’t forget what Jesus said: “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”  So stand united.

May I suggest something?  If you are not already doing a daily devotional in the Word of God as husband and wife, please begin doing one every single morning or every single evening.  May I suggest that you pray together as husband and wife, as man and woman, with the man leading as man and wife share God’s Words with one another and pray for one another?  If you do those two things, I believe this promise from Jeremiah 17:7-8 will begin to apply to your marriage: “But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence.  They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water.  Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.”

So how then should men lead their wives?  Let’s talk about that.  Remember Ephesians 5:22? “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.”  Consider the context of that verse.  Why should wives submit to their husbands?  Verse 23 explains: “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior.”  Which is to say that women should submit to their men because the same God who appointed Christ to be Head of His Bride the Church IN THE SAME WAY appointed men to be the heads of their wives and families.  And therefore men should model Christ for their wives in the same way that Christ modeled Himself for His Bride.  And what does that look like?  Does it look like a dictatorship, even a benign one?  NO!!!.  Jesus said in Mark 10:45, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”  Jesus, as the ultimate model for all husbands, led as a Servant-leader Who gave up everything for His Bride.   Philippians 2:3-11 shows us even more clearly what Jesus Christ’s servant leadership looks like: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself.  Do not look out for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.  You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.  Though He was God, He did not think of equality with God as something to cling to.  Instead, He gave up His divine privileges; He took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being.  When He appeared in human form, He humbled Himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.  Therefore, God elevated Him to the place of highest honor and gave Him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”  Jesus as God Incarnate revealed that the ultimate nature of the Christ men are to model for their wives is the humble heart of a servant, rather than a tyrant.  Wives, THAT is Who you are ultimately submitting to when you submit to your husbands.  Husbands, if Jesus could get over literally being God and lead with selfless humility, don’t you think you ought to be able to get over being “the man” and lead your wife in the same humble manner???

Let me end with this: According to Genesis 3:9, after the Fall in the Garden, “the LORD God called to the man and said to him ‘Where are you?’”  I want you to notice that God doesn’t call to the woman; and He doesn’t call them both out: God calls the MAN out ALONE.  In Hebrew it is masculine and singular.  It’s as if God looked right at Adam as he hid and said, “I distinctly remember creating a MAN – a REAL man – but there doesn’t seem to be an actual MAN around here!  Where ARE you, real man I created?”

And if you’re a man this morning, a husband, a father, where are YOU?  Too many Christian men, Christian husbands, Christians fathers, are HIDING.  In these last days Christian men must rise up and STAND AS MEN for your wives and your families.  RISE UP the way God created you and ordained you and equipped you to stand up and LEAD.  Your families desperately need you!  And likewise in these last days Christian women and children must throw out the vicious feminist abortion mindset that defiantly screams, “I HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE!”  Because the Word of God couldn’t be more clear: NO YOU DON’T.  Christian women, Christian wives, RISE UP and STAND behind your men.  Because the God over both men and women appointed that place as your place and sphere of ultimate blessing.

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How To Be God’s Gift To Women: A Christian Guide

July 28, 2014

I’ve heard the phrase “God’s gift to women” used quite a few times in my life.  In all the times I’ve ever heard a woman use that phrase, I don’t think I’ve ever once heard it used in a positive way.

Who are women talking about when they describe a man as “God’s gift to women?”  He’s a vain, arrogant, self-absorbed narcissistic man who believes that his appearance, and/or his wealth, and/or his success, and/or his fame, and/or his physique, and/or the size of his “equipment” – and heaven help you if you meet a man who checks off all of the above as applying to himself – make him irresistible to women.  And, of course, once he’s gotten what he’s wanted from one woman, he’s off to be “God’s gift” to the next one.  He might literally be narcissistic enough to reason that he’d be selfish to remain with one woman when there are so many others desperate for “the gift” that he believes he is.

That’s a shame and a tragedy, because the fact of the matter is that God truly intended men to actually BE God’s gift to women.

The purpose of the rest of what you read is to describe and explain HOW a man truly CAN be “God’s gift” to a woman.

I need to specify something in advance: what I will be talking about is how to be “God’s gift” to a GODLY woman.  While one could reasonable argue that God created women to respond a certain way to the right kind of love and support, I believe that the Fall of Adam and Eve messed up both man and woman alike.  And just as Lucifer rebelled even against God’s perfect love, I believe that an ungodly, unrighteous woman will rebel against even the most perfect man’s love.

If you’re a liberal, progressive, secular humanist feminist woman, I don’t have a doubt in my mind that you’ll reject the kind of man I’m going to describe who would be “God’s gift.”  You reject God HIMSELF; of COURSE you will reject God’s gifts and any man who professes to believe in either of them – if not all men in general.

The kind of woman who will rejoice to find the kind of man I’m describing is the kind of woman who has placed her trust in Jesus Christ, been saved by Him, been filled with the Holy Spirit and made it the purpose of the remainder of her life to follow Jesus as His disciple and live according to His teaching in His Word, the Bible.

At some point, therefore, I need to talk about a woman’s proper response to the man who strives to be “God’s gift” to her according to God’s Word.  But let me begin with the responsibility of a man to his wife.

The key verse is found in Ephesians 5:25, which says:

 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her”

What does it mean to love your wife just as Christ loved the church?

To begin with, it means literally being willing to DIE for her.  A husband’s duty is to literally lay down his life for his wife, if that’s what it takes to keep her safe.

Given the fact that a husband’s role model should be Christ, and that husband’s should love their wives the way Christ loved the church, another passage illustrates this concept as well as an even more radical one for a husband:

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” — Mark 10:45

The notion that a woman exists to serve and service a man is simply flat-out WRONG.

A godly husband SERVES his wife.  A godly husband SACRIFICES for his wife.  A godly husband lays down his life for his wife.

Let me now introduce a wife’s proper response to this kind of love and explain why it is the right response.

We actually have it told to us several times:

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord — Colossians 3:18

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.  But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. — Ephesians 5:22-24

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.  — 1 Peter 3:1-2

We are ALL – men and women alike – to submit to Jesus Christ.  But the Word of God instructs godly women to be willing to submit to their husbands.

We don’t know precisely why that is.  In the aftermath of the Fall, God cursed every participant (even including the earth that bore the two trees!).  See Genesis 3:14-18.  Particularly relevant to our discussion, God cursed the woman, saying:

“To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you.” — Genesis 3:16

One might argue that “men rule over women” as part of God’s judgment/curse for Eve’s part in the rebellion against Him.  But I do NOT believe that is what is being played out in a Christian marriage.  Rather, I believe that Eve usurped her rightful role and God pronounced a curse – you could call it a factually correct prediction – on her sinful role in a sinful world system.

But women were ALWAYS intended by God to be helpers rather than the leaders of their men.  God created the man first, and then He created woman as “a suitable helper” (Genesis 2:18).

Paul commented on this in another passage that liberal progressive secular humanist feminists find frankly evil:

But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.  For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve.  And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.  — 1 Timothy 2:12-14

Let me begin with the fact that St. Paul is NOT talking about a woman as a business leader or even as a political leader; he is speaking spiritually in a spiritual context.

What St. Paul is pointing out is that man WAS created first and intended by God to BE first and to LEAD.  He created woman as a suitable helper, not as a usurper who would take man’s legitimate role away from him and unrighteously supplant him.  And he further points out that there is something about man’s makeup and woman’s makeup that equips them to perform their God-given roles but that which KEEPS women from performing the roles that God intended men to have.  There are many attributes about women that made them wonderful for the roles that God intends for them to have: they tend to be more compassionate than men, for instance, more gentle, less harsh.  And these things and many other things that make women different from men are all good in themselves, and help balance men out in a godly relationship with women.  But when women usurp men’s roles and rule over men, then these very good things become bad things: because all of these differences between men and women result in the fact that women are more easily deceived by Satan masquerading as a good, caring, sensitive, compassionate, sophisticated angel of light.  The very same emotional and psychological differences that make women more caring also make them more likely to be spiritually deceived.  Where men – who are more equipped and more empowered to stand up and FIGHT – see the true nature of evil more clearly.

Adam KNEW what he was doing was wrong.  In his case his wife had already committed the deed and he frankly chose Eve over God.  But Eve had been deceived to believe what she was doing was actually good.

I’d put it in its simplest form thus: the same sensitive nature of women that make them more sensitive to other points of view make them more open to deception from the wicked point of view that they are by their nature also more sensitive to.

We’re seeing that a great deal today.  And the polls clearly demonstrate that women are on the wrong side of most of the most serious cultural departures from God, whether it be abortion or homosexuality or socialism where the State replaces God.

As a caveat, I submit that women can and should be pastors, but not senior pastors, according to the clear teaching of St. Paul.  A woman pastor should be under the overall authority of a senior male pastor.  That would satisfy the requirement of 1 Timothy 2.

That was a necessary digression to try to provide some grounds for explaining why God has ordained a system in which husbands do more leading and wives do more following.  And I don’t state that because I’m a man and I get to rule over women; I say it because the Word of God says it.  And since liberal progressive secular humanist feminists defiantly won’t place themselves under the Word of God, it is no wonder they will refuse to place themselves under any man, either.

That’s one nasty pill for any liberal progressive secular humanist feminist woman to swallow, I have no doubt whatsoever.  It is clearly not even a very easy thing for a godly, Christ led woman to willingly choose: a submitted life.

But here’s how it should work in a biblical marriage:

A wife submits to her husband.  Wherever there is more than one mind/soul, there needs to be a leader.  If we always take a vote and we each get to do what we want, I’ll just skip to the end of the story and tell you what happens: divorce, where both “partners” choose to go their separate ways.  It literally cannot end much any other way if taken to its conclusion, can it?  Which is why our divorce rate is so sky-high in this “emancipated” age of ours.

So the biblical wife makes the choice to humble herself and submit to her husband.

And what should the biblical husband do?  Should he rule over her, dominate her, make her his servant if not his slave?

Only if that’s how Jesus related to us, it is.

But that’s NOT how Jesus related to us.

The godly husband, recognizing that his wife made the sacrificial decision to submit to her husband and follow him, ought to LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR HIS WIFE.  Every day and in every way.

She’s trusting him, trusting his leadership, trusting that he will take care of her, and will love her, and will protect her and lead in such a way that blesses her and seeks her highest good and well-being.

The godly man’s duty is to respond with “servant leadership.” 

“The servant-leader is servant first… It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead. That person is sharply different from one who is leader first, perhaps because of the need to assuage an unusual power drive or to acquire material possessions…The leader-first and the servant-first are two extreme types. Between them there are shadings and blends that are part of the infinite variety of human nature.

“The difference manifests itself in the care taken by the servant-first to make sure that other people’s highest priority needs are being served. The best test, and difficult to administer, is: Do those served grow as persons? Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? And, what is the effect on the least privileged in society? Will they benefit or at least not be further deprived?“

A servant-leader focuses primarily on the growth and well-being of people and the communities to which they belong. While traditional leadership generally involves the accumulation and exercise of power by one at the “top of the pyramid,” servant leadership is different. The servant-leader shares power, puts the needs of others first and helps people develop and perform as highly as possible.

As a servant leader of his wife, as a husband who is willing to lay down his life for his wife, a godly husband makes every meaningful decision of his life with the blessing and happiness and joy of his wife and his family. He’s not seeking his good; he’s seeking HER good and the good of his FAMILY first.  His needs come second to theirs.

A godly wife doesn’t tell her husband how to serve her.  She doesn’t tell him how she needs to be blessed.  She trusts him and she waits to see how he will bless her, what direction that blessing will take, how he will lead her to a better life and a deeper relationship with him and with their Lord.

And a godly wife will blossom and bloom and thrive with that kind of a husband.  He will be God’s gift to her and she will thank God for him every day of her life.

What follows may not be a perfect analogy, but I had an opportunity to live this out for a young woman I know.  Please understand, I am not trying to claim that every woman would be like the one I am describing below in the same situation.

She learned that I love to take frequent long hikes – and I’m talking ten miles – in the desert and she wanted to go with me on one of my hikes.  She said that she had wanted to go hiking out in the desert for quite a while, but was afraid to go alone or even with another woman.

She knew I’d been a paratrooper – and presumably knew what I was doing – and that I am a Christian and she could trust me.

Anyway, due to the 110 degree heat of the Coachella Valley that’s routine in the summers, I usually leave around six o’clock p.m.  I take my dog with me, and when you do all your sweating out of your tongue, you just can’t release enough body heat in the heat of the day.  She needs late afternoon shade to get out of the direct sun and she just needs it a little bit cooler.  If I leave early in the morning on one of these long hikes, I’ve got the same problem backwards: it’s pitch black when I would have to leave at 4 AM.  Because by 8 AM it’s already baking and too hot for the dog.  It’s easier to go in the early evening than an hour plus before the crack of dawn.

So we’re hiking along up the last of one of the few blind canyons I take – where you just keep going up and up and up but not so steeply that it’s overly hard to come back down – and it is getting DARK.  It had just so happened that our first hike together occurred on an overcast evening right near a new moon.  And the steep, high walls of the blind canyon just took what little light there was away.  You could see the white sand beneath your feet, but the rest of the landscape was just pitch black.

And she began to become frightened.

During the daylight, she’d been peppering me with questions about coyotes and rattlesnakes – and I had told her how a couple of weeks before I had encountered two rattlesnakes on the same hike – along with a number of other questions such as how often I ran into scary men out here.  I’d told her that a lot of guys shot guns in the area, and I think she had the idea of hillbillies in pickup trucks and then the people who came to shoot were of course driving pickup trucks.  And when the darkness came it simply began to overwhelm her overstimulated imagination.

I stopped walking and asked her, “If I were to suddenly leave you right now – just walked away in the dark and left you on your own – would you be scared?”

And she said, “I’m scared RIGHT NOW.  If you left, I’d be absolutely terrified.”

She also said, “Please don’t play any games with me.”  And I could tell she was extremely frightened by her voice.

I assured her right away that I wasn’t playing any games – that only a true fool would play a vile game like that – and that I wasn’t going to leave her out of my sight until she was safe.

It was a good thing that she told me she would have been scared if I’d left her, because that helped make my following point a lot more impactful.

I made her a solemn promise: that as long as she was with me out there, I would protect her, I would take care of her, I would if necessary lay down my life to ensure her safety.  I promised her that it would literally be over my dead body that anything would harm her.

And so I led the way home and she walked behind me, most of the time either holding my hand or my shirt.  I know that she could see me in the dark, but I think she wanted some kind of physical connection as a form of reassurance.  She was – appropriately I might add – most afraid of running into a rattlesnake.  Unfortunately, they’re out the most during the same times that we tend to be out the most: in the evenings, nighttime and in the early mornings when it’s cooler.  I’ve encountered dozens and dozens of rattlesnakes in the desert.  You either deal with them or you stay home and hide.  I told her to follow me, to walk behind me and follow my steps, so that I would be the one to deal with whatever was in our path.  If there was a rattlesnake in the darkness, I would be the one to come upon it and deal with it.  That was MY job.  It was MY job to keep her safe and to put myself between her and anything that could harm her.

And that was where I gave her the example of a husband and a wife, and a husband leading while his wife trusted him to lead her.  And I asked her to trust me.  I was literally asking her to let me be what God wants me to be as a man.

We made it home, safe and sound.  And she’s actually been on several of my long hikes since.  She goes a little bit nuts with her flashlight – if there’s so much as one bush in the desert she doesn’t shine her beam at I would be shocked – but it’s truly nice to have her company.  We’re not romantically involved, but it is still a considerably more pleasant walk than it is to be alone or to be with a male friend.  It’s nice to be a man alone, it’s even nicer to be a man among other men; but there’s just something special about being a man with a woman who appreciates it when that man acts like a man.

Obviously, not every situation where a man and a woman are involved is like that.  But it certainly provides a visceral illustration of how God wants a man to act.  It’s not about the glory of leading; it’s about the duty to provide a place of safety and security.  But as every gallant little boy who ever killed a spider for a girl knows, it feels good to be the noble knight in shining armor riding to the rescue of his damsel in distress.

The more fundamental question is how that knight acts when there’s no longer a spider to kill.  Does he think he’s entitled to slavish devotion and gratitude for his wonderfulness?  Because that is the worst possible attitude to have as a man.  And of course women who encounter it very rightly resent it.

I digress at this point to mention that I actually prefer to follow the path of my dog – who has something like 100,000 times better sense of smell than I have to go along with her dramatically superior night vision and hearing – as opposed to overly relying on my flashlight.  If there’s a rattlesnake, she’ll tip me off.  I use my flashlight for brief spot checks to look for coyotes (their eyes glow green in the beam of the light) – who will try to lure her away from my ability to protect her.  And when I see a coyote in the area I’ll put her on the leash rather than risk her racing off to possibly get ambushed by a group of killers.

It’s an interesting experience to be completely out on your own in the desert.  For one thing it’s incredibly romantic, with the pitch black silhouette of the hills beneath a sky filled with stars unless a giant moon is crowding out their light.  Sometimes its really spooky, with the wind making it seem like something is moving around in every one of the thousand shrub bushes all around you.  I do my praying on these walks.  I do my meditating.  I do my reflecting.  It’s just you and God.

I’ll also say this: in my youth, I went through my own “God’s gift to women” phase.  I wasn’t interested in marriage because there were SO many women out there and I didn’t seem to have an awful lot of problems finding a new one.  I took a lot of women for granted in those days.

But experience is a marvellous teacher.  On the one hand, good decisions are invariably the result of experience; but on the other hand, experience very often unfortunately comes from making bad decisions.  As you get older, you finally begin to appreciate things that you just weren’t capable of appreciating when you were younger and racking up all that “experience” from making all those bad decisions.

Now I know that a good woman is worth more than her weight in gold, that when you find the right woman, and the right woman finds you, you are a truly fortunate man.  And if you treat such a woman as anything less than a queen, you are a fool.

Those final words don’t come right out of the Bible – although there are Proverbs such as found in chapter 18 and 31 that come real close – but they are very much in harmony with it: “A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds,” Proverbs 31:10 begins.  And damn right she is.

I end this by pointing out a fact: that my mother is my life hero.  I’m a mamma’s boy through and through.  My mother was for all of my life and remains to this day a foundation of love, of integrity, of virtue that I have depended upon in times good and times bad.  If it weren’t for my mother, if it wasn’t for her teaching when I was a child, for her prayers as I became older, I wouldn’t be saved.

Anyone who wants to demonize me as having some harsh, hateful attitude against women is simply profoundly wrong.  I’ve got the Bible and I’ve got the noblest and godliest woman I’ve ever known on my side to tell me that.